Are you your "Friend's" party filler? You deserve better!

By Nicy B. Photo credit: Canva 

Being a party filler is an awful position to put someone in; you do not deserve to be one. A party filler is someone who is there to fill the room. In the same way, the Oscars have a seat filler- someone to fill the seat but is of no importance. 

How do you know when you are a party filler?

When you are not a part of the original guest list and are there as an afterthought, you are not the actual guest they meant to have, so you don't make the cut at intimate parties. Still, when it comes to bigger parties that nerd more bodies, they invite you because they know you will show up. They only ask you because they know you are a reliable person; they know that you care and will show up with a gift or celebrate them. 

However, they won't go to your birthday parties, wedding events, or housewarming because they don't want to invest in you. They don't find you worthy of buying even a small gift or care to celebrate a critical moment of your life.

You see these small parties or little intimate they throw, and they always forget to invite you or think you wouldn't have been interested in showing up. Regardless of when it counts, they do not want you there and will make any excuse why they didn't think of you. 

You are not a Party Filler for anyone. If you aren't a part of the inner circle, don't strive to be one. If they don't show up for you, stop showing up for them. You have to be kind and stand up for yourself. If you are mutual B list friends, that is fine but keep the intimate parties for those who will show up for you. Remind yourself to be authentic and never try to go overboard to impress someone. You shouldn't constantly need to impress a friend for them to like you.

Find your niche of friends who share the same interests and values as you. Make sure there is mutual respect and admiration for both. You will find that when you stop showing up for people who can't reciprocate, they won't even care or could get angry that you set boundaries. If they ostracize you, ask yourself, is it exclusion if they excluded you from the beginning?